ThinkN
by babygirl2006
Summary: Hm? I guess all I can say is its a SON FF... JUST READ! Summary is really confusing in my head... sorry!
1. Spencer N Ashley 4Eva

Disclaimer: I** DON'T **own anything. I **PROMISE!**

Summary: Ashley's POV and Shes basically looking back on her life. Through a book Spencer made for her.

Feedback: TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK... THAT WOULD BE SO AWESOME OF YOU!!!

Authors Notes: **PLEASE JUST READ AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK... I KINDA SUCK A SUMMARYS... THANKS**

**ThinkN**

**Chapter 1**

babygirl2006

It seems like its been a life time since I last looked through this book. Spencer made it for me for our 4th anniversary. The cover page says: **Ashley N Spencer 4-EVA**. **Time spent with you is time I never spend alone. As long as I'm with you, I have nothing to worry about**. The writing is wrote in bubble letter. Its colored blue and silver. I flip it open to the next page. Theres a photo of us at the beach with a caption under it that says:** Naked... LOL! You're Crazy. **The Picture is of Spencer whispering in my ear and I had the biggest smile on my face.

"_What are you doing? Look at the camera." Spencer said gently pushing my mouth away from her ear and towards Aiden so he can take a picture. _

"_I don't want to. I'd rather whisper in your ear all day long. I get the best feeling in the world just knowing I can make you smile with just a few words." I whispered into her ear, gliding my lips over her ear lobe, making her shiver. _

"_Ashley! PLEASE? This is going to be the last picture we take in the next couple of months. I want a new picture of us to take with me. PLEASE?" I turned away and looked at Aiden. I actually forgot that she was leaving tomorrow for the summer. Away from me. Away from the life we created for ourselves here in L.A. I seen Aiden put the camera up, getting it ready to take a picture. I tried to put a smile on my face. At least one that made me look happy but I know it wasn't good enough. Apparently Spencer looked at me and seen the look I had on my face because-_

"_I want NAKED ones of you too." She whispered in my ear just as the picture was taken. I wanted to start laughing but I couldn't. I just smiled and keep my eyes on the camera._

"What?" I said, looking around my room as I was pulled for my thoughts.

"What do you have there?"

"Nothing." I closed the book and put it back in the box and seat it on my lap. I looked over at Stacey. She stood there looking at me then turned away.

"O...Kay." She said, pulling her shirt over her hair and headed for the closet. "Oh yeah... Umm someone called today, while you were out but I didn't get the name. Same guy." She grabbed a shirt then walked out of the room. I heard her walking down the stairs before I took the book back out and started looking through it. I flipped to page two and there are different verses for songs wrote nicely on the page. Right in the middle of the page was something Spencer wrote herself: **Weird isn't it, How you can find the love of your life at 16. Honestly I'm really thankful I have you and don't have to spend my life searching. Searching for something AWESOME! You are my everything. You are my world. My love. Mrs. Davies. **Wrote in the top left hand corner: **I'd never lived, Before your love. I'd never felt, Before your touch. And I'd never needed anyone, To make me feel alive. But then again, I wasn't really livin'. I'd never lived... Before your love. **Theres one going vertical on the left side of the page towards the bottom: **When I lose the will to win, I just reach for you and I can reach the sky again. I can do anything 'cause your love is so amazing, 'cause your love inspires me. And when I need a friend, You're always on my side, Giving me faith, taking me through the night.** Laying up and down on the page in the bottom right corner: **I don't want to close my eyes. I don't want to fall asleep cause I'd miss you babe. And I don't want to miss a thing. Cause even when I dream of you, the sweetest dream will never do. I'd still miss you babe.**

I wanted to cry. How could I possibly ever love again? How could I just let her go? I want so bad to take back everything that was said. I want to take back the fight we had that ended it for good. I always thought that somehow that fight wasn't going to be different from the rest. I thought it was going to be the same. We argued. Slammed things. Sometimes throw things (never at the other but throw things.. yes). And within a few days it would be over with and she or I would be sleeping in OUR bed together again. Somehow it was different. Somehow she woke up and decided that was it. Without another word she just left. No note. No goodbye. No, its over. No nothing. She just left. I still to this day wish things had went differently. I wish she didn't leave. I wish I could possibly just maybe move on just a little bit. After 5 years as of today there was still no word, phone call, letter, nothing from her. And still after 5 VERY long years I could still only think of her. 


	2. OH MY GOD!

Disclaimer: I** DON'T **own anything. I **PROMISE!**

Summary: Ashley's POV and Shes basically looking back on her life. Through a book Spencer made for her. Also starting in this chapter... the present is going to be taking more of a role. Ashley's going to be living in the present and in the flashbacks or through the book.. Really (If that at all makes any sense)

Feedback: TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK... THAT WOULD BE SO AWESOME OF YOU!!!

Authors Notes: **Thanks for the reviews and heres the next post... SORRY ABOUT NOT WRITING PEOPLE BACK FOR THE REVIEWS YOU LEFT... I DO STILL READ THEM.. THANKS!!!**

**ThinkN**

**Chapter 2**

babygirl2006

"_What the hell are you doing?" Spencer yelled as she walked into the kitchen._

"_Nothing." I dropped the spoon and keep my eyes on her as I walked away._

"_Ashley.. Come here." I slowly walked backwards back through the kitchen door. _

"_Yeah?" _

"_Wh... Umm. We are going out to dinner tonight. So, be ready by 6:30" She walked past me and I heard her going up the stairs. I glance over at the clock. Its 7:30. I have to leave in 40 minutes for a meeting. I need to finish getting ready. I walked out of the kitchen and started up the stairs. Why does she seem so distant? I walked into our room and she is sitting on the bed with her knees in her chest and her hands over her face._

"_Spence? whats wrong?" I asked, knelling down in front of her. _

"_Nothing... I'm fine. Just thinking." She got up from the bed and went to the closet._

"_Why won't you talk to me? Why after 5 years you are isolating yourself from me?" I pleaded._

"_Its nothing Ashley. Leave it alone."_

Thats the first argument that started the one before she left. It wasn't that big but she had started to act sad and she wouldn't talk to me. I was getting frustrated. She keep pushing herself further and further away from me. I didn't know what was wrong with her. Everything to me seemed to be going fine. I don't know what I did or didn't do. Or if something else had happened that she wasn't telling me about. I still to this day don't know what was wrong with her. I keep thinking what if I did or said this, would she still be with me. If I would have felt her alone, would she still be here. I can't tell you how many times a day things like that go through my mind. I looked over at page three. It has four different pictures on it. The one in the top left hand corner, caption read:** You look so happy and peaceful sleeping in my bed.** It was a picture of me sleeping in her dorm room bed. After a VERY FUN and long night. If you know what I mean. The picture below it but on the right side, caption read:** Why couldn't we leave this bed? SUMMER OF 08'**. The picture is of the two of us laying on my bed. Half of her body was on mine as we looked up at the camera smiling.

_I keep trying to take pictures of her but they didn't turn out that well because she keep blocking the camera._

"_Please Spencer? Just one. I'll leave you alone after that. Promise."_

"_Ashley, I just woke up.. NO."_

"_PLEASE?" I whined._

"_Fine... One thats all. But you have to be in it too."_

"_Okay.." I said smiling then laid down on my back and she cover the left side of my body with hers. Her head right next to mine, smiling up at the camera. I looked at her then back at the camera before taking the picture._

It was the summer right after our senior year. That summer was amazing. We really didn't leave my room. She had just turned 18 so her mom couldn't tell her that she had to be home. God I loved that summer. That was also the first summer we got to spend together. The summer before that she had to go to Ohio. Man that summer was boring and crappy without her. I looked at the third picture on the page. The picture was placed like the first one but more down on the page. The picture is of her. She is standing in King Highs bathroom stall on the toilet. She has her hand coming from her mouth. She had just blew me a kiss. The caption for it read: **Making love in the bathroom.. We are SO bad.. LOL**. The picture below that but to the right is the one that made me tear up. The caption read: **You are my first and last.** The picture is of us. We are laying on my bed. Side by side. Head by head. Smiling up at her cell phone.

_I look over and see blonde hair. Last night was amazing. Never in my life did I think I could have such a good time with a person and want to do it again. Usually I just want the person to leave. I didn't want her to leave. I don't ever want her to leave. I can see myself waking up to her every morning for the rest of my life. _

"_Good Morning." She said, kissing my cheek._

"_It is a great morning. How did you sleep?" _

"_Great.. Never better." She smiled at me then turned away._

"_Are you blushing? Aw poor Spence. Getting shy now? Don't you think its a little late for that?"_

"_Hey! Its never to late for anything."_

"_Actually, there is somethings."_

"_Like what?"_

"_Well, lets see..." I paused, thinking about something. "Okay, If you had sex without a condom and got pregnant it would be too late to start using one." _

"_OH MY GOD..." She paused and had a serious look on her face. "We didn't use one. Does that mean I am pregnant? Shit whatever will I tell my parents." She said seriously then bust into laughter._

"_Thats not funny. You are missing my point." I pouted._

"_Aww someones having a hard time because their not the one making the jokes. Do we need to put you in daycare because you want to be a whine baby?" _

"_What, do I rub off on you a little to much last night?"_

"_NOPE! It was just right." She said smiling from ear to ear at me. "Now look who's blushing?" She added, places a small kiss on my lips. She pulled away from me, when her cell phone went off. Singing "Love me or Hate me" By Lady Sovereign. Its her moms ring tone. She grabbed her pants and pulled out her cell phone. She looked at me then hit ignore. She brought her cell phone up to my face, snapping a picture._

"_Woo.. What are you doing? It is only 12:30. I haven't taken a shower. no pictures please. Thanks. Love you much for it too." I told her. She snapped another picture. _

"_You love me anyways." She said taking another. "No but for real. Take a picture with me. PLEASE?" She said laying her head next to mine. I just smiled at her and looked up at her phone. _

I put the book down and walked through the house. As I walk down the hall I can still see the pictures on the wall. The pictures we took on holidays like we was a family. A family of two. Pictures taken at the beach or at a cabin in Colorado during winter. We took that trip in December 2011 during winter break. She liked that trip. God she looked like a little kid that had never seen snow before.

"_Come on Ash... It's snowing and its all over. Look at it. It looks amazing. Don't you want to play in it? Come on." Spencer whined at me._

"_It's freezing Spence. I am not going out there. You go and I'll watch you from here." I told her as I stood in front of the sliding glass door on the back side of the house. Giving you full view of the back yard. After the yard was a bunch of trees. Woods, I guess, its called. So Spencer says. Everything is white. She has seen snow before but she is still more intrigued then I am. It is so beautiful though. But it is cold as hell. I would freeze. I am staying in. She can go out but I am not going to get her if she freezes out there. Okay.. Maybe I would but still. It sounded good. I laughed to myself._

"_Why you laughing?" She said throwing my coat and some gloves at me. _

"_Nothing."_

"_Put those on before you really freeze because I pulled you outside in what you have on." I listened to what she said and put the coat and gloves on. She then wrapped a scarf around me neck, kissed me on the forehead, and pulled me out the sliding glass door. It is snowing pretty hard. You can barely see through it. But I can see clearly enough to watch her slowly spin in circles. Arms extended out. She looks so relaxed and calm. Smiling from ear to ear. I've never seen her like this. She looks like she can be in this little world of her forever and be happy. I am glad that I can be apart of it. She ran into the house and left me standing outside. I watched her come back out and place the camera stand on the deck and focus the camera on me. I don't know if she took any pictures of me but I just stood there and watched her. I feel frozen to this spot and the only thing that can move is my eyes and they are choosing to watch her every move. She ran down to me and said 'picture' then she looked up at the camera but my eyes where still locked on her. _

That was a good picture. Every time I look at it, I can tell how much love I have for her in it. Every picture that was on the wall of this house or just in a picture frame placed randomly somewhere had a meaning. They all had a meaning. If you came into the house there were so many pictures, it looked like we were obsessed with ourself. That wasn't even the case at all. She or we (it went both ways) wanted everyone to see how much we loved each other. I started taking the pictures down about 8 months ago. The ones on the walls anyways. The ones in the kitchen on the counter or the ones one stands or shelves or even the ones in the china cabinet haven't been touched. They hold there ground. Stacey thinks they should all be thrown away. I don't think so. They are staying there. Shes lucky I even took the ones off the walls. The walls just look bare now. I wouldn't put anything else in there spot.

"Hello?" I said out of breath. I ran from the upstairs hall to the kitchen to get the phone.

"Your coming in today.. right? We have a little recording to do and talks about your first world tour."

"Yeah.. I planned on it. The meeting is at 1. I'll be there by 12:30."

"Alright. See you later Ash."

"Right. Bye Rick." Rick is my producer slash manager. Hes an awesome guy. I started my singing career about four years ago almost five actually but its been great. I've only had ups. Its more punk rock then pop. Some label me as pop. That doesn't bug me though. As long as people love the music I am okay with it. I do tour a lot. 4, 5 months out of every year. This tour is going to be the long one. I am so excited. I am doing really good overseas so I get to start a world tour now. I've released 5 CD'S, during the last five years. My last CD was released 3 months ago. It sold 798,000, its first week in the US. When it released overseas and other countries it sold just about the same its first week. I walked into the studio in the basement of my house. I had it made a year after my first album was released. I've got 2 Grammy's. 7 Teen choice awards. 8 MTV video music awards. 5 Billboard music awards. 3 American music awards. I've done good for myself. Honestly none if it means anything without someone special to share it with. I've actually thanked Spencer every time I won. Most if not all the songs I won for was wrote because of her. I know its really hard to get away from me. Everywhere I turn I see myself or hear myself so, unless Spencer has locked herself in something without TV or Radio, she knows all about my life. When she left she had just finished Law school. She had got a Job in the law firm downtown LA. Its a pretty big deal. She was excited about it. She said only really good lawyers get jobs there. Everything seemed good. EVERYTHING. So I don't know what went wrong.

I bought this house right after I turned 18. Its pretty big. Three floors. Top floor has two bedrooms and a bathroom. Second floor has 1 bedroom and 1 bath. It was 3 bedrooms and 2 baths but I took them out and got a theater room put in. First floor doesn't have bedrooms. Its living room, dining room, kitchen, and another room. Not sure what it is called but its a game room now. And then the basement which is a studio. I record here most of the time. I do also go to the office. A lot of artist do good when they write about a heart break after they just had there heart broken. Or write love songs when they are in love. My heart has been broken the last five years. I have 4 songs about heart break. Most of them though are love songs. I have maybe 3 dance songs. The first dance song I released didn't do as good as my other songs so I barely make them. I've released 13 videos and within the next four months I will be releasing another one. I walked back up to the first floor and grabbed my coat, keys, and purse. It was 12. I had to go to the office. I opened the front door.

"OH MY GOD.." I gasped. "What.." I paused. "Are you doing..." I paused again. Making sure I was seeing clearly. "Here?" I asked finally getting it all out.


	3. You Never Do Ashley!

Disclaimer: I** DON'T **own anything. I **PROMISE!**

Summary: See the chapter before this...

Feedback: TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK... THAT WOULD BE SO AWESOME OF YOU:) :)

Authors Notes: **Thanks for the reviews and heres the next post... I'll post again tomorrow or the next day... LATER PEOPLE!!**

**ThinkN**

**Chapter 3**

babygirl2006

"OH MY GOD.." I gasped. "What.." I paused. "Are you doing..." I paused again. Making sure I was seeing clearly. "Here?" I asked finally getting it all out.

"Spencer needs a folder or something. That was left here. Its black and she said it was it your room on the closet shelf."

"Okay.." I said still trying to get it together. The last time I seen anyone from her family was when I went to her parents house to look for her. They always told me, they don't know where she was. Which was a lie. I could tell. If I didn't know where my kid was, I would be freaking out. They seemed like they didn't care so, I knew they knew where she was. Apparently she wanted me to stay away.

"So, Are you going to get it?" Glenn asked. He has done good for himself too. Big basketball star. He got his knee back in shape. Clay was a big time social worker. He wanted to help kids find good homes. He wanted to try and make a difference.

"No." I answered.

"Why?"

"You can get it. But I haven't been in that room for a really long time." When Spencer first moved in with me, She wanted a room on the third floor. So thats where we slept. Well, when she left, I keep the room the way it was and moved to the second floor. I hardly go to the third floor. The last time I was up there was when Aiden stayed in the guest room a couple of months ago. You walk up the stairs to the third floor and you find a short hallway with three doors. The left side is OUR old room. Right side it Guest room and at the end of the hall is the bathroom. Nothing in OUR old room was touched. I used to sit in there all the time but I haven't sleep in there without her.

"The third floor. Left side door... Right?"

"Yup. Hurry though. I have to go to the office." I yelled to him as he ran up the stairs. Most likely already on the third floor. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a water out of the fridge. I downed half of it and leaned against the counter. A lot of Spencer's papers are still here. Some of her clothes are still here too. I guess the less important ones anyways. Just like I couldn't take the pictures down. I couldn't clean that room out either.

"Are you okay Ashley?" He said walking into the kitchen. I slowly lifted my head out of my hands and looked at him.

"Fine. Did you find what you were looking for?"

"Yeah thanks." I just shook my head. "The house looks different." He mentioned.

"Yeah. I've done some remodeling. Does it look bad?"

"No. It looks great. You should see what I've done to my place. Big difference. I guess we've all done good for ourselves. Spencer has a nice big house too, Clay included." He told me. When he said Spencer's name I tensed up. I don't know if he noticed. Hopefully he didn't. "Everyones great at what they choose to do. I heard your doing GREAT with the music career. You liking it?" He added.

"Yeah. Its good."

"Ashley, I thought you was supposed to be at work by now." Stacey yelled from the front door. "And who's truck is that outside?" She said, walking into the kitchen.

"His." I said pointing at Glenn.

"Oh my god. Your Glenn Carlin. Like that biggest basketball player. Your really good." She practically screamed in his face.

"Thanks. But umm Ashley. I'll talk to you later or something." He said smiling. Then held up the folder. "Thanks again. And it was nice meeting..."

"Stacey.." He smiled at her and headed for the door. I walked behind him and Stacey stayed in the kitchen.

"Sorry about her. She can be a little weird."

"It's okay I deal with crazy fans all the time. Girlfriend?"

"Its complicated."

"How so?" He said as we walked out the front door.

"Well, I'm not sure. I guess its not but I can't really say she is a girlfriend. More like a friend that basically moved in without me saying she can and won't leave." I told him. He just laughed. "And I don't tell her to leave because well the house is to big for just me. I would feel way to alone then."

"I got yeah. Thats why I have a house mate. House is to big for me and last girl I had only wanted my money. Being a star is lonely. I am sure you can relate." I shook my head and headed for my car. I pushed unlock on my keys and opened my car door.

"Hey Ashley." I turned and looked at him. "Shes doing good. You should call her." He climbed into his truck and pulled up next to me rolling down his passenger window. "Can I have your number? Promise I won't give it to crazed fans." He said holding up his right hand.

"Give me your phone." I said. I put my number in his phone as he did. I handed his phone back and got mine. We said our goodbye's and both pulled out of the gates, that close my house off. I should really change the pin to my gate. Its always been the same and Spencer's whole family knew it. Well her dad, Glenn, and Clay. Her mom and dad broke up shortly after senior year. They tried for years to hide there troubles but it all soon came to a head. For some reason though Spencer wasn't surprised. The family still stayed in pretty close contact with their mother. Paula remarried a year before Spencer and I went different ways. Or she went a different way. I looked at the clock in my car. 12:35. Oh shit. I have 25 minutes to get to an office that is 45 minutes from here. I made it to the office and up 3 floors at 1:09. Little late I'm okay.

"Sorry I'm late. I had a little thing to deal with." I told everyone in the room. I pulled out a chair and took a seat.

"Okay.. Now we can get started." Rick said. Kathy and John shook there head. John owns the record company. Kathy is my road manager.

"So, Ashley tour starts in two weeks. Its a 8 month tour. 4 Months in Europe, Asia, and Australia included. Another 4 months in the US. After Australia you come back here and have a week off, which is when we want to release your next video. You have three days between each show. But first your next single is what?" John said and asked.

"Photo." I told him.

"Right. So, we will talk about what you want the video to be like then get it shoot sometime in the next two months. So, it will be ready in June and you can do another appearance for TRL. Sound good so far?"

"Yeah. Great."

"Alright. Kathy has the dates and places your be for the next four months and we will have tour dates and places for the US in two months." I shook my head. "Anything else?" Everyone said 'no'. I got up and walked out.

"Ashley wait. You might need these." Kathy said handing me a couple of pieces of paper. I looked down at them. It was the tour dates and places.

"Thanks. I'll see you later. Rick, I am going to record at home today. I'll call you tomorrow for more details."

"Alright. Later Ash." I walked away and headed back to my car. As I was walking out of the side doors to the office building my phone vibrated in my pocket.

"Ashley Davies."

"Will I guess I don't have to ask now if this is Ashley." Glenn said into the phone with a mocking voice.

"Ha ha funny. You want something?"

"Yeah, dinner tonight at my place. Clay, Chelsea, Rubin, Tony, and dad are going to be here and they would like to see you. I tried telling them thats not a good idea but they insisted I called you and at least asked. So, dinner?"

"I don't know last time I went to your house for dinner, you nearly burnt the house down." I said laughing.

"That wasn't funny. And it wasn't the house just part of the kitchen. So, you coming or what?"

"I don't know."

"Spencer can't make it or at least I haven't asked her yet. She is a busy lady. Big cases and all. Its hard to even get a hold of her, unless she wants something. So, come on. You know you want too. And I have chef's now. I don't cook. Dad will love it."

"What time?" I don't know why I am agreeing to this but its done. "And I am bring Aiden." I added.

"Cool. We can play a little basketball. Have some fun. It would be good. Be here at 6."

"I'll be there. Bye."

"Later." I pushed end and called Aiden.

"What up lover girl?"

"Nice Aid, real nice. But what are you up too tonight?"

"Nothing.. Why? What's up?"

"Well, Glenn came by today..."

"Are you okay Ash?" He said interrupting me.

"Fine.. Now listen before you interrupt me. Glenn cam by today and got some folder for Spencer. After five years she needs it. Weird. Anyways he got my number well he call few minutes ago and asked if I wanted to have dinner at his place with him, Clay, Chelsea, Rubin, Tony and their dad. Do you want to go?"

"What about Spencer? Is she going to be there?"

"He said he hadn't asked her yet but she is always busy, so, he doubts it. Are you gonna come with me?"

"I'm in. I can't leave you hanging. What time?"

"Be at my place by 5. See you later."

"Alright.. later." I closed my phone and drive the last 15 minutes in silence. This dinner is going to be bad. With capital letters. Or maybe it would be good. I want give anything to see Spencer but then what the hell would I say to her. So many things were left unsaid. I can't think of no thing right now. I hope she doesn't come, that would be uncomfortable and strange.

"_What are we doing?" She said quietly. I looked at her confused. We just got back from dinner and we are watching a movie. Why is that complicated? She can see what we are doing._

"_Watching a movie." I told her._

"_Thats not what I meant." She sat up from my lap. "I mean in a larger sense. What are we doing?"_

"_I don't follow."_

"_You never do Ashley. You never see whats right in front of your face. Why can't you just open your eyes and see it?" She screamed._

"_What are you talking about? I don't even know, whats going on. And your seating here yelling at me for nothing."_

"_Exactly you don't open your eyes and see. Before you know it, its gonna be gone. What are you going to do then?"_

"_What are you talking about? Where is this coming from?"_

"_Nothing Ashley and No where. Just never mind. Forget it." After saying that she stomped up the stairs and I heard the door slam. Echoing through the house. I started walking up the stairs and I knocked on the door because it was locked. She wouldn't open the door. She just keep telling me to go away. I put me back against the door and slid down it. I sat there for 3 hours before she opened the door. I got up and walked into the room. I stared at her._

"_I don't want to talk about it." She said then laid down on her side of the bed and pulled the blankets over her head. I could tell she had been crying. I am supposed to just leave her alone or make her talk. _

I left her alone. Now I know I shouldn't have cause after I laid down next to her and went to sleep, I woke up and she was gone. Along with most of her stuff. Apparently only the important stuff. I pushed in the pin number to the gate then drove in.


	4. I've never

Disclaimer: I** DON'T **own anything. I **PROMISE!**

Summary: See the chapter before this...

Feedback: TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK... THAT WOULD BE SO AWESOME OF YOU:) :)

Authors Notes: **Thanks for the reviews and heres the next post... **

**ThinkN**

**Chapter 4**

babygirl2006

"_Do you want to come out with me tonight? We are going to that new club over in west Hollywood?" Spencer said jumping onto her stomach on my bed, right next to me._

"_Who are you going with?" _

"_Robin, Karen, Cameron, Beverly, and Jack. You wanna come with? Its going to be fun." She smiled at me from ear to ear. "Plus if you don't go, then, who else am I going to dance all sexy with." She added. It's our second or sophomore year in college and those are her group of friends. Well, our group of friends. Tim is gay. Spencer once told me wants a gay guy friend. Well, she got ones. Robin and Karen are a couple. Cameron and Beverly are the straight ones. How does two straight girls get to be in this group? Well, they know Robin very well. Its been three of them since they were like 10. Best friends for a long time and when they was 15 they decided that they would all go to the same college. A college that would help each of them with what they want to do as a career._

"_You could always find someone." I told her._

"_Cute Davies.. Real cute. But NO! So, are you coming? Don't make me drag you along."_

"_Fine, Fine. I'll go. Do I get to drink? Because that would make it so much more fun."_

"_Sure but I am drinking also. This is going to be so fun." She said. It was already 8 o'clock so, we started getting ready. We were both ready by 9 and heading at the door. _

"_When are you going to move in with me? You basically live here now." I asked as we started to pulled out of the gates of my house._

"_I don't know."_

"_Don't use 'I don't want us to live together yet. What if we get sick of each other?' Because you know thats not going to happen."_

"_You never know."_

"_Are you trying to say you would get sick of me?"_

"_NO! I'm just stating the obvious."_

"_I think your just scared."_

"_Of what?" _

"_I don't know. You tell me."_

"_I'm not scared. I just don't feel we are ready for that yet."_

"_Spence, we have been together for 3 years. When will we be ready? When we are like 50? Come on, you have to give me better answers then that." _

"_Don't rush it Ash. Like you said I basically live there now. Most of my stuff is already there. One day it will all be there. Just let it live itself out."_

"_Fine." I reached over and turned the radio on. We listened to four different song before we made it to the club. We walked in hand in hand. We spotted the group by the bar. We ordered our drinks then went and find a table with everyone else. By 11 o'clock Spencer had downed 6 shots and had 4 drinks. I've only had a beer._

"_Ash, wanna dance." Spencer slurred. She didn't wait for me to answer she pulled me up and over to the dance floor. Half way through the song, I was getting turned on by Spencer's dance moves. She is grinding all over me. She turned around and pulled me in for a kiss. She slid her hands down my sides and into my back pockets. She pulled away from me. "Lets go home." She said looking me in the eyes._

"_I thought you didn't live there?" _

"_Yeah, well, I do now. Come on."_

"_Lead the way." _

Thats the night she finally moved in. I was surprised she remembered the next day. Oh shit. It's 4:45. I need to get ready. I've spent the last 2 and half hours recording and thinking of Spencer. It happens everyday. I hopped in the shower by the time I got out Aiden was sitting in my living room watching Sports Center. Guys and their sports. I don't really pay attention to it. Spencer did with basketball because of Glenn but I tried not too. I didn't see the point. I've watch a few games with Spencer but I could never get the whole point in the games. I was ready by 5:30 and we headed out the door. We decided to take his car. Aiden is also a basketball star. He plays for god I don't remember what team. Him and Glenn play for the same team though. I know that much. Aiden just isn't as big as Glenn but he has his moments.

"At the end of the basketball season I am moving." Aiden said.

"What? Where?"

"Boston. I am being traded. I'll be playing for the Boston Celtics."

"Why would you agree to that?"

"Their a good team. I'll be played more. I'll do better with them."

"Boston? Thats across the country."

"It's not like we see one another a lot now. Your always touring and if your not doing that your recording. I'm on the road too. We can still talk. You can come visit. I'll come visit. We'll keep in touch."

"Fine. Whatever." We sat in silence the rest of the ride. Aiden buzzed at the gates. God everyone has gates. I wonder if Spencer has gates. We pulled up and parked behind five other vehicles. I stared at them. Shouldn't there only be four. Our car would be five. Please don't be here. Please.

"Ash? What's wrong?"

"Theres five not four. What if she is here?"

"Calm down. You don't know yet. If she is we will leave. Okay?" He said trying to make me feel better. I shook my head and we headed up to the front door. We rang the doorbell twice before Mr. Carlin opened the door.

"Its nice to see you Ash."

"You too." We hugged and followed him in the games room, where everyone else seemed to be.

"You came." Glenn sounded excited. "You guys want something to drink? Anything at all. I got it."

"Yeah, something strong." I told him. I didn't hear what Aiden said. I walked over to Clay and Chelsea giving them a hug and then bent down to say hi to Rubin. Which is there son. Hes nine now, I think. I am not sure.

"Ashley, this is Tony. My house mate. Tony this is Ashley."

"Your Ashley Davies?"

"Yeah. Is there something wrong?" I said looking around at everyone but they all looked just as confused as I did.

"No, I've heard a lot about you."

"Hasn't everybody." I added to his statement.

"Well, yeah but it wasn't from the TV or radio or even magazine."

"Why do you got to tell people, what I talk to you about?" Spencer said walking into the room.

"I didn't say anything. I just didn't think you was for real when you said Ashley Davies. I thought you was lying."

"My past is very true. Every word of it. Now, you can go back to your little party. I just came to get that folder." She said then looked at Glenn. She looked so different. She cut her hair and dyed it a light brown. She wore her make-up different too. It seemed more grown up. I guess. She doesn't like like she has grown any. She has a womens suit on. Maybe she just got off work. She looks a lot older then she did the last time I saw her. I whispered in Aiden's ear and headed for the door. I stepped out on the porch and closed the door slowly behind me. I opened my purse and pulled a pack of cigarettes out, along with a lighter. I had taken up smoking. I don't do it that much. Just when I am really stressed. It seems to help some. After I was done I flicked the cigarette around the gravel and walked back into the house.

"No. I should go. It would be to weird with both of us here." I heard Spencer say.

"You don't have too. We can both be here. Its your family." I said walking into the room. Everyone just looked at me like I was crazy.

"See she don't care." tony said then went to the kitchen and came back with a drink for Spencer. Glenn handed me a glass that was set on the table. We stood around talking for awhile catching up. It was good so far. Everyone laughing and having a good time. We sat down to eat dinner and I have barely said a word.

"So, what about you Ashley? I know you are every where but what's your side to it? Do you like it or what else have you been up too?" Mr. Carlin asked. I guess it was my turn to tell everyone what I've been doing.

"I've done good for myself. I couldn't ask for anything more." I paused looking over at Spencer. She is staring at her hands listening to me talk. I guess old habits die hard. She only plays with her hands when she is nervous or uncomfortable. "I'm touring a lot. It lets me meet a lot of new people. I start my first world tour in two weeks. I'll be touring for 8 months."

"Thats great Ash. Do you have a girlfriend?" Clay asked.

"I don't call her that. Shes more like a fly, I can't get out of my house. The little loud, annoying ones. I guess its cool though. I don't have to come home to an empty house."

"You ever thought about selling it?" Glenn asked.

"When I first bought it. But it holds to much now and I've done so much to it."

"Oh thats right. Clay you got to see her house now. Its crazy better then mine. Its so cool. But I didn't ask you earlier, what did you do to the second floor? It never looked like that before."

"I keep a bathroom and bedroom on the floor but the rest I had then turn into a theater room."

"Movies on a HUGE screen. Awesome for Super Bowl. I should add one here."

"What did you all change?" Clay questioned.

"Umm... The empty room next to the dining room is a game room now. Pool table, you know basic stuff you have in a game room. I turned the basement into a studio."

"What did you do with the third floor?" Mr. Carlin asked.

"Nothing. Its the same as it has always been. I barely go up there. Unless someone is in the guest room. Which is hardly ever, unless Aiden stays over."

"What about you Spencer? What have you been up too?" Aiden asked, noticing I really didn't want to talk about me.

"Work. Thats about it. It keeps me really busy."

"You in a relationship?" He asked. She looked at me then back at Aiden.

"No. I am to busy to have one."

"So, you've been good then?"

"Basically just living. Nothing to special about my life." After that was said everyone was quiet. We all finished eating and Mr. Carlin broke the silence by saying her had to go. He had work early in the morning. Clay also. Its was Saturday, why, they had to work was beyond me. Now theres Glenn, Tony, Aiden, Spencer, and I.

"So, what do you guys want to do?" Tony asked. It seems like it was the first time he talked in forever.

"Want to play some basketball?" Glenn offered.

"No." Spencer said after Aiden and Tony was down for it.

"Come on Spence. It will be fun." Glenn whined to her. I got up and walked to the game room and started shooting some pool. Let the guys play basketball because I know Aiden is not ready to leave yet. The guys walked through the games room and through a walk way that looked like it should have a door but there wasn't one. It was the indoor basketball court. Spencer came into where I was and sat on the stool.

"You want to play?" I asked.

"Why not." She got up and grabbed a pool stick. "So are you ready liking the music career?" She asked as I broke.

"It's good. Keeps me busy but not busy enough. What about you, big time lawyer working out for you?"

"It keeps me way too busy. But I get paid great so I can't complain. I like your last song. Its good."

"Thanks. I just hope my career keeps doing good. I just keep waiting and waiting for it to tank like everything else does."

"You've got what 25 awards total these last five years. Why would it tank?"

"Because everything great does and not everything ends with a reason why. Sometimes it just ends. What do you do then?" I asked looking her in the eyes for the first time tonight. She shrugged her shoulder and shoot the red solid in the corner pocket.

"Okay so, Tony has decided, he wants to play 'I've never'. Aiden and I are down for it. Are you two ladies in?" Glenn asked walking out of the b-ball room, followed by the other two boys.


	5. Why would you?

Disclaimer: I** DON'T **own anything. I **PROMISE!**

Summary: See the chapter before this...

Feedback: TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK... THAT WOULD BE SO AWESOME OF YOU:) :)

Authors Notes: **Thanks for the reviews and heres the next post... THANK YOU SO MUCH**

**ThinkN**

**Chapter 5**

babygirl2006

"_Okay so, Tony has decided, he wants to play 'I've never'. Aiden and I are down for it. Are you two ladies in?" Glenn asked walking out of the b-ball room, followed by the other two boys._

"Its called 'Never have I ever' and Sure." Spencer said.

"I guess." I answered as everyone looked at me. I was a freshman in college the last time I have played this game. We all sat around the card table. With 5 different kinds of liquor in the middle. Everyone has there own bottle.

"Whatever Spence. I'll go first since this is my house. Never have I ever had sex with a girl." Everyone took a shot but Tony.

"You mean to tell me my sister has sleep with a girl and you haven't?" Glenn said looking at him with his eyebrow raised.

"I don't believe in premarital sex. Anyways, my turn. Never have I ever wanted to marry someone." Spencer was the only one, who took a shot.

"Never have I ever had sex with more then one girl." Aiden said cutting Glenn off before he could say anything about the marry comment. Spencer and Tony didn't take a shot. Well its good to know she hasn't had sex for five years. Damn thats a long time. Sucks for her. What am I talking about, I haven't had sex either.

"Never have I ever skinny dipped." Spencer said. Everyone but Tony again took a shot. The dude is a dork. What the hell has he done.

"Never have I ever had sex in a bathroom stale." Glenn said. I took a shot. Everyone was looking at me.

"What?" I questioned.

"Are you serious?" Aiden said looking grossed out. I shook my head. Spencer started laughing.

"Why are you laughing? You need to take a shot too. You were the person in the bathroom stale with me." Everyone looked over at Spencer now and I started laughing. She turned a bright red.

"Spencer thats gross." Glenn told her. "I didn't even do that." Glenn added.

"Shut up Glenn. I was 17."

"Whatever my turn. Never have I ever liked a friends sister." I said. Nobody took a shot but Tony.

"Who?" Glenn questioned.

"We aren't playing truth or dare." Tony told Glenn. Tony looked at Spencer and she looked away from him. Oh thats gross. Have fun trying to get that dude. I started laughing.

"Why you laughing?" Spencer questioned.

"You know why. The dude likes you." I am feeling the liquor. I've just about drank to everything. "Anyways, Never have I ever had sex with my best friend." I added. Spencer and I took a shot.

"Never have I ever took somebodies girlfriend." Aiden said taking a shot. Glenn also took one.

"Never have I ever seen such a boring group of people." Tony said taking a shot. "Lets bring this up some. Make it more interesting." Tony paused. "Spencer you go." Tony added.

"Okay, Never have I ever dumped somebody."

"Yeah, we know, you just leave." I told her.

"No arguing. We are having fun tonight. Never have I ever jacked off." Glenn said. Spencer and I watched all 3 boys take a shot.

"Thats just disgusting." I said gagging. Spencer looked grossed out.

"Never have I ever kissed a guy." Spencer said. Spencer, Tony, and I took a shot. Glenn and Aiden looked at Tony like they didn't know what to say.

"You have kissed a guy?" Glenn said looking like she was going to puke.

"Yeah, When I was in 9th grade. It was a dare and I don't back down from a dare."

"Whatever dude." Glenn said. "Never have I ever had sex with Ashley." Glenn smiled at me. Aiden and Spencer took a shot.

"Never have I ever sleep with Spencer." I said then took a shot. Tony hesitated then finally took one. Oh thats gross. Lesbian my ass.

"I'm done with this game. Its time for me to go to bed." Tony said then hopped up after seeing the expression on Glenn face. I know how he feels. I feel like beating the shit out of the guy too. Tony walked quickly from the room and we all looked at Spencer.

"What are you looking at me for?" She asked.

"You sleep with him?" Aiden asked.

"It seems that way now doesn't it."

"No need to be a smart ass. Its a question." I told her.

"I thought you was like lesbian. Why are you sleeping with a guy?" Glenn asked a half drunk Spencer. She looked at me and didn't say anything.

"Why are you looking at me? I didn't make you have sex with the dude." I asked.

"Because it is your fault." She said.

"How? I didn't break up with you or just leave you after 7 years. So, how is anything that you have down these past 5 years my fault? Tell me." I yelled across the table at her.

"Okay. We are going in here. Leave you two alone." Aiden said and both him and Glenn got up, leaving the game room. She sat there after they left and didn't say anything. I put my head down, sighing loudly. I grabbed the bottle of J.D and walked out the sliding glass door in the dining room. Glenn's backyard is big enough for a football field to be put in. Its all green and has flowers here and there. Pretty girly backyard. You know he pays someone to keep this yard so nice. Theres a path from the one side of the pool to the back gate. With lights and flowers along the path. It seems like a girl would live here but there is no girl.

"_I am not cutting down those trees." I told Spencer._

"_Why not?"_

"_Man, with all the trees they are cutting down now, we are not going to have any air. What are you going to do then?" _

"_Die..."_

"_Funny. Ha ha ha." I said sarcastically. "We could still make the backyard bigger but the trees stay." I added._

"_Fine whatever. Keep the damn trees. I don't care."_

"_You do too." I told her. She wants to make the backyard bigger and put and big garden with a path through it. And places to seat, with little lights and pretty flowers everywhere. Well, thats what she said anyways. _

I actually did that to the backyard a year and 6 months ago. It looks awesome. I think she would really like it. Its done how she described it too me.

"You remember what I wanted to do to the back yard?" Spencer asked walking up next to me on the deck.

"Yeah. You should see it. It looks nice. You would love it. And from the guest bedroom on the third floor it looks so amazing." I told her, keeping my eyes over the backyard. I brought the J.D to my mouth and took a big swag.

"Yeah. If you would let me."

"I told you, no matter what the house is ours. I am keeping my word. I may seem like I hate you but I don't. I just hold on to all that pain still. And yes, even after 5 years, it still hurts really bad."

"Ashley?" Spencer said breaking the silence after 10 minutes.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry."

"That isn't going to help anything. Why on earth would you just up and leave after 7 years?" I asked calmly, still not looking at her.


	6. Having fun or maybe not

Disclaimer: I** DON'T **own anything. I **PROMISE! **The lyrics aren't mine either... The song is All-4-One 'Not Ready For Goodbye'...

Summary: See the chapter before this...

Feedback: TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK... THAT WOULD BE SO AWESOME OF YOU:) :)

Authors Notes: **Thanks for the reviews and heres the next post... **

**ThinkN**

**Chapter 6**

babygirl2006

"_That isn't going to help anything. Why on earth would you just up and leave after 7 years?" I asked calmly, still not looking at her. _

"The reason I left isn't a good enough reason to leave you. I was scared to say something and you weren't seeing it. I thought you didn't want the same thing and that scared me even more. So, I left. I always had it in my head that I was coming back but days turns to weeks then months now years. I just keep pushing it away. As time went on I still wanted to go back but it had been so long I couldn't just do that to you."

"Yeah, well, you should have. At least it would have made the door move one of those times, I was staring at it, wishing for you to walk through."

"I'm sorry." Spencer said lightly. I didn't say anything. We just sat there, staring across the yard.

"You really sleep with him?" I finally broke the silence.

"No, he thinks we did."

"Why?"

"Because we was drinking at my house one night and we started making out and somewhere he blacked out and don't remember anything but us making out. Well, he had woke up in my bed the next morning with just his boxers on. He thought we sleep together. I tried to tell him we didn't but he just told me 'It's okay. I understand you don't want to admit it because you are lesbian.' I just let him think what he wanted too."

"Oh. You know technically you cheated."

"On who?" She asked looking confused.

"Me. We never broke up. You just left." I told her and she didn't say anything. "And how do you know if I didn't want the same things you did. You stopped talking to me way before you ever left. You never asked me what I wanted or told me what you wanted."

"Why should I have to tell you, when you should just see it."

"I couldn't see what you wanted when you keep pushing me away. How do you get 'I want you to ask me to marry you' out of 'pushing me away'. They don't go together one bit. Maybe if you were happy and talking to me. I would have seen it and you know that." I stood up and starting pacing behind her.

"I'm sorry." She said standing up.

"Stop saying that. It DOES NOT help." I throw the tequila bottle down onto the deck and it shattered. She keep looking between the broken pieces and me. "Can you pick that up for me?" I asked. She just shook her head 'yes'. I started to walk away but then I stopped. I walked over to her and knelled down. "You see that? The glass. How its shattered like that?" She again just shook her head. "Thats what my heart looks like. So, while your picking that up, maybe you can pick my heart up too and put it back together and give it back." I told her and walked into the house. I found Glenn and Aiden watching sports center in the living room. I sat next to Aiden.

"Are you ladies all right? We heard yelling." Glenn said a little worried.

"Peachy." I told him and grabbed the bottle from Aiden, since I broke mine into pieces. Half hour later and I still haven't seen or heard Spencer. Aiden must have been thinking the same thing because he asked where she was. I couldn't answer him. For some reason I feel bad for what I said to her and I don't think I should.

"I'll go find her." I said and got up. I walked out onto the deck and she is at the bottom of the stairs, with her head in her hand. I believe she is crying. I quietly walked down to her sat down. I pulled her into a hug and we sat there in silence. I shouldn't feel bad but I do. Even though she hurt me, I never wanted to hurt her. And I just did. Which makes me feel even worse. I am so torn. I really don't know what to do. I don't want to forgive her so easy but its not hard to do. Especially since she was once my whole world. She basically still is. Everything I do still comes back to her and is about her.

"Sittin' here starin' at the wall  
Another lonely tear falls  
I'm tryin' to write you this song  
But I can hardly see the page at all

Cause it's breaking my heart  
When I look in your eyes  
And I don't see me anymore  
Oh, and you're all I'm living for

Baby, tell me that you still believe  
That you still love me  
The way I love you  
If you take your love away from me  
You know I would die  
Cause I'm not ready for goodbye (Oh...oh...oh...)

Baby, please pick up the phone  
Tell me I'm crazy, I got it all wrong  
I don't know what I'm gonna do  
I don't know how to live without you

You are the first song  
My heart ever heard  
And baby, I-I believed every word  
You are my heart, my soul, my world

Baby, tell me that you still believe Still believe  
That you still love me That you still love me, baby  
The way I love you The way I love you

If you take your love away from me Away from me  
You know I would die I would die  
Cause I'm not ready for goodbye Goodbye

Every breath that I take, every beat of my heart  
You know it's all for you  
I wanna hold you, I wanna love you  
Forever and always

Baby, tell me that you still believe Tell me  
That you still love me That you still love me, baby  
The way I love you The way I love you  
If you take your love away from me Oh...oh...oh...  
You know I would die Oh...  
Cause I'm not ready for Goodbye, Goodbye" I sang lightly into her ear. I don't know what made me sing. I just felt like it I guess.

"When did you write that? I have never heard that before."

"A few months after you left. I just keep it to myself."

"Why?"

"Because that song brings a lot of emotions out of me."

"Oh..." She was quiet after that and I didn't know what to say either. "Can I see it now?... I mean I know... Never mind." She's starting to ramble. I always loved it when she rambled. Its cute that I could still make you do that.

"Yeah but we can't drive. And I am not walking across town." I told her with a laugh.

"Taxi?"

"That will work. What do you say though? I've never had to call one." I told her and she started laughing. "Hey, its not that funny.. K" She still continued to laugh. Like I just told the best joke in the world.

"Okay, Okay... I'll call but you so got to learn how. Its really not hard." She got up and I followed her into the house. I like where we are right now. Not arguing but no back together. I guess I could say friends but its been a long time since we have been just friends. She called the cab and we waited with the guys in the living room for it.

"Are you guys leaving?" Glenn asked.

"Yeah." Spencer told him.

"Together?" Aiden asked looking almost happy.

"Yes." I told him. "Do you have a problem?" I added.

"Love birds back together? If so, then I am so glad, I don't have to heard Spencer anymore. God, do you know what it is like to have to hear her everyday for five years say 'I'm stupid and 'I have made the biggest mistake anyone on this planet could make'? And I mean EVERYDAY. It was tiring and boring. So, glad thats over." Glenn finally stopped. I looked over at Spencer, who had her head to her hands again, hiding her face. I was about to get up and tell her it was okay, when I heard a ring fill the house. Man was it loud.

"Your taxi is here." Glenn said, getting up. Spencer and I walked outside and got in. The cab ride to my house was silent. It was to quiet for me and seemed like it took forever. We got there and walked into the house after paying the man. Once we was in the house Spencer just stopped. Eyes wondering every where. She looked amazed. Kinda like the first time she seen the house. I walked her through the house showing her everything I had done to it. We came upon the room I sleep in now.

"In there is where I sleep now." I told her.

"Okay" She said and followed me up the stairs to the third floor. I opened the guest room door and showed her.

"I didn't really do anything. I just changed it a little. Moved it around and stuff." I walked over to the window and looked over the back yard. "Look." I said pointing out the window. She looked speechless and so so amazed. It brought a smile to my face, just seeing her reaction. "Beautiful, isn't it?" I added.

"Amazingly beautiful. Can we go out there?"

"Sure." I followed her outside. As we walked past my bedroom door, she stopped and looked at it then keep walking. "Stacey is probably sleeping. I don't want to wake her. Thats why I didn't show you my room." I told her.

"Who's Stacey?"

"The fly that won't leave."

"Why does she sleep with you though?"

"When she first started staying here, Aiden was staying in the guest room and I wasn't going to let her sleep the couch. That would be rude."

"Why couldn't she sleep in the other room on the third floor?"

"Because, I don't let anyone in that room."

"Wh... Oh, Never mind." She mumbled out. I shook my head. We walked around in the garden for awhile and just talked about random things. Trying to avoid an argument. We sat on a bench for a few, continuing to talk.

"Do you remember the first time you showed me this house?" She asked.

"How could I forget? You thought you was just dreaming."

_Today I am going to finally tell her I bought a house and show it to her. She thinks I still live with my mother. Yeah right. Moved out right when I turned 18. Its been about six months. Its time. I picked her up and after we got half way there I told her to put a blindfold on. She did. After arriving I walked her up the outside steps and opened the door. I stood her in the living room and told the blindfold off. Her expression was is so indescribable. I love it so much. _

"_I feel like I am dreaming." She said to me._

"_Your not dreaming. This is my house. OUR house." I told her and she stopped walking and looked at me. _

"_You know, when people say that usually they are at least 30 and married."_

"_Yeah, well I am not where near 30 and maybe one day. Hopefully one day." _

"_This is to good to be true. I really think I am dreaming." She said still in 'aww'._

"_Would you like me to pinch you?"_

"_No, that would hurt. I will prove to myself that I am not dreaming." She told me and walked right into the wall. I started laughing at her when she bounced off and started rubbing her forehead._

"_What the hell are you doing? Do you walk through walls in your dreams?" I asked through my laugher. I couldn't seem to stop laughing. Why would you walk into a walk? I think I am with a crazy girl. _

"_I have walked through a wall in my dreams. I was just seeing if it would work now. I guess not." She said. "Stop laughing now. Its not that funny. But it did hurt. What are these walls made out of? Brick?" She added._

"_It is funny. You would be on the floor laughing at me, if I did something like that. Walking into the wall. You are one crazy girl." I shook my head at her. _

That was a good day. I started laughing thinking about her trying to go through the wall.

"Why are you laughing?"

"Yo... You..." I stopped laughing. "Tried walking through the wall." I said then started laughing again.

"You are still holding that over my head. I really thought I was dreaming."

"Man, you are crazy. I honest to god, didn't think you would have walked into the wall though. You should of just let me pinch you. At least you won't of whined for 5 hours saying your forehead hurt."

"Yeah because I would have been whining about my arm or something else hurting."

"I wouldn't of pinch you that hard. Just hard enough to know you where awake and not dreaming. Does your forehead still hurt?" I questioned laughing again.

"Ha ha ha. Funny. You had your laugh. Would you like me to bring up something you did that was so funny? Because this is the second time tonight that you said something embarrassing about me. And had fun laughing about it."

"No, I am okay. It was funny though. Admit it."

"No!"

"Come on. Admit it." I started tickling her.

"No!" She said through laughter.

"Come on. You know you want too. All you have to say is 'it was'." I said continuing to tickle her.

"It was. It was." She screamed.

"See. Told you but I think you just woke the neighborhood." I said laughing then pulled her up. We started walking towards the house. As we walked pasted the pool she stopped and looked at it. I walked in front of her and let her stare at the water.

"Run." She screamed. I stopped then turned and looked at her confused. She grabbed my waist and throw me into the pool. As I came up out of the water she was laughing.

"So not funny. I'll get you back for that."

"Thats what you get for laughing at me... You should of seen your face when you was going in. Dang was that funny." She said then laughed again. God, I missed that smile and laugh so much. I got out of the pool and went to walk to her but she moved.

"Why you running Spence?"

"You are not throwing me in there." She stated.

"Aw, why not? It'll be fun." I ran after her. I couldn't keep up because these clothes were weighing me down. As I continued to chase her I started to pull my clothes off and throw them. I was soon in just my bra and thong. I caught up to her and grabbed her waist pulling her over to the pool. We both continued to laugh and her occasionally saying 'no please' or 'don't'. We got to the edge of the pool and I was about to throw her in but it would be easy to take her in with me. So I throw us into the pool. After coming up. She started splashing me with the water.

"You so didn't need to do that." Spencer told me.

"Thats what you get. You shouldn't of pushed me in." I told her and we played around in the pool for awhile. Enjoying each other and having fun. Soon we was in the house and in different showers. We showered and meet up in the living room. She looked around some more and wandered into the kitchen.

"You still have a lot of our pictures up. Why?" She asked.

"Didn't see the point in taking them down. They were put up for a reason and just because you left that does mean that stop meaning something to me. These pictures hold memories. Memories of my past I would never want to hide from anyone or forget. So, I keep them where they belonged." I told her.

-----------------\

**For some reason I DON'T want to end this chapter but its to 5 almost 6 pages right now so I think I should but I will continue and hopefully you people liked it... PLEASE REVIEW...? THANKS!!**


	7. The End!

Disclaimer: I** DON'T **own anything. I **PROMISE! **The lyrics aren't mine either...

Summary: See the chapter before this...

Feedback: TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK... THAT WOULD BE SO AWESOME OF YOU:) :)

Authors Notes: **Thanks for the reviews... Sorry for the wait... Heres the next chapter...**

**ThinkN**

**Chapter 7**

babygirl2006

"_Didn't see the point in taking them down. They were put up for a reason and just because you left that doesn't mean that they stop meaning something to me. These pictures hold memories. Memories of my past. I would never want to hide from anyone or forget. So, I keep them where they belonged." I told her. She shook her head at me._

"What time is it?"

"2. Would you like something to drink? Eat?"

"Something to drink would be good."

"Water? Coke? Beer? Liquor?"

"I'll have some water I drink anymore before I go to bed and I am going to have a big hangover."

"Yeah, don't want that. You are the biggest baby, when it comes to having a hangover."

"Shut it." She said grabbing the bottle water from me. "You are really going to drink more?" Spencer questioned.

"I can handle my own."

"I bet."

"Okay, that time doesn't count. That was only ONCE. You on the other hand like 50. You owed me, that one."

_Once I opened my eyes, they were shut just as fast. I got a glimpse of Spencer smiling down at me. I can hear a giggle starting to surface from the blonde next to me._

"_I told you not to drink that much." She said._

"_Can you close those curtains? You opened them on purpose.. Didn't you? You don't open them any other morning." I heard the curtains being closed and I felt the light being shaded out. I slowly opened my eyes and Spencer was looking down at me from the side of the bed._

"_Can I help you Miss Carlin?" She asked. Then started laughing._

"_Nice, But thats not funny." I reached up and grabbed her shirt pulling her down to the bed. "Why would I take your last name?" I questioned holding onto her._

"_Because my dad loves you."_

"_Thanks Spence. I feel so loved by you now. But can you get me some water and something for my headache before I start whining like a five year old. Please?" _

"_I love you too. Not just my dad." She kissed my forehead and got up off the bed. I just had to celebrate last night didn't I? God, why did I do that? Its not that big of a deal that I graduated from high school. I don't even remember most of the night. I remember dancing with Spencer and drinking Aiden and some other guy under the table. I remember dancing some more, being in a room with Spencer. Also drinking more and thats all I remember. Head. Hurts. Pounding. Stop. I grabbed my head and shoved it into the pillows. _

"_Spence?" I whined. _

"_I am coming. I am coming. Calm down." She said walking into the bedroom. _

"_What took you so long? Did you get lost?" I asked her. _

"_I had to go to both bathrooms looking for Aspirin. You want to be mean, you can go get it yourself next time." She said helping me seat up. Once I was up a little my head started pounding even more. I made it half way and couldn't take it anymore. I laid back down._

"_Spence. It hurts." I whined again._

"_Okay. You keep whining like that and I am going to leave you to tend to yourself."_

"_It hurts though. Do something. You always knew how to make me feel better before." I was pouting now, with my face into the pillow. _

"_Ash. Seat up and take this. Its not that bad." I slowly seat up. I took it really fast and laid back down. Spencer put the water down._

"_Spence?" I cried out._

"_I've got. You puck on the bed or floor, I am not cleaning it up." She told me._

"_Why you being so mean?"_

"_Ash, its puck. Why would I clean it for you? Thats gross." I grabbed the tin garbage can from her. My mouth was watering so bad. I leaned over the bed and started pucking. Spencer grabbed my hair and held it back. I finally stopped and looked at her. "You feel better?" She asked looking disgusted. I shook my head and laid back down. I heard her dumping it out into the toilet. Then came a little bit of gaging. _

"_Babe? You okay?" I called out to her. _

"_Yeah, this just smells really really nasty." She washed it out and brought it back. Along with more water and a tooth brush with toothpaste on it. "Seat up again." I did as I was told and brushed my teeth. Well she brushed them._

How did I make it 5 years without this girl? She has done so much for me. I looked up at her and she was staring at a picture of us that was taken in Australia. On our fifth anniversary. We were at the zoo. Spencer wanted to take a picture with the kangaroos. Even though once she saw them, she got scared. She acted like she seen a shark coming at her. She was scared because she thought the Kangaroos were going to hit her or something like that. I never understood what was so scary to her about them. I still question that. Hm?Huh?

"You were happy to see them. Once you did, they scared the shit out of you but you still look happy in that picture." I told her.

"Thats cause you were protecting me." She said smiling at the picture, never taking her eyes from it.

"I will always do that." I put my hand on hers and she turned and looked at me. We are face to face now, inches apart. We are both smiling at each other and moving closer together. Our lips met. Once our lips met, I pulled out just as fast and moved away from her. "I can't. I'm sorry."

"No. Its my fault." She said running her hands through her blonde hair. "I should go." She added with her eyes pasted to the floor.

"No. You don't have to. I want you to stay." I told her.

"I am tired."

"Yeah, I am starting to get there." I paused. "You can sleep in the guest room or our old room." I added. She stood there still staring at the floor for 5 minutes before walking to the stairs. I just followed. I stopped at my bedroom door and watched her continue up the stairs. She didn't even look behind her. I got in my room and changed into a pair of boxer and wife-beater. I grabbed some for Spencer and started up the stairs. I walked into the guest room and she wasn't in their. I opened the other door after taking a deep breathe. I walked in and she is seating on the bed with our memory book in her lap. I put it in here earlier so Stacey wouldn't look through it. I stood there and watched her flip through the pages slowly. As she got closer and closer to the end, tears started to form in her eyes. She was in full out crying mode by the time the book closed. I didn't really know what to do. I still love her. Shit I am still in love with her. And even though she IS the one that left. She IS the one who didn't try to stay and talk to me. I never doubted that she didn't love me or was in love with me. For the 7 years that we were together I could feel it everyday. I could see it in her eyes. In her touch. In her voice. In the way she held me or kissed me. I could feel it EVERYDAY. I've lost that ability to read her so well. So, I can't tell you if she still feels the same way but I can say she does have some feelings for me still.

I slowly walked over to her and placed the clothes next to her. She still hasn't noticed I was in the room. I walked backwards, slowly out of the room and closed the door behind me. Maybe she knew I was there, maybe she didn't but if she did. She didn't say anything. I got back into my room and climbed into bed. Stacey wasn't there. I didn't realized before that she wasn't. I was to focused on Spencer. I tossed and turned for 2 hours. Sleep was not happening for me. I glanced over at the clock on the dresser. The red numbers read: 4:15am. I closed my eyes and sighed. This was going to be a long night or morning. Memories were still going through my mind like crazy. They always did though. It just seemed to be more hectic tonight. After another 45 minutes had pasted, I got up and walked to our old bedroom. I slowly opened the door. Spencer was still awake. I could tell by her breathing and her little movements. I walked over to the bed and sat on the edge, neither of us said a word. She knew I was there is time. Her hand was touching my lower back.

"I know you told me to stop saying it. I also know that you said it won't help any but I am sorry." She whispered.

"I still want you. I still need you. But I'm scared. That pain I got. That heart wrenching, stomach turning pain I got is not something I want to go through twice. Once was enough for me. I honestly don't think I could live through it a second time."

"I can't tell you that things will be perfect."

"I don't want perfect Spencer. Nothing is ever perfect. I just don't want to feel that pain again."

"I know I was wrong to just leave. Especially over something stupid like I did. I never expected to be gone as long as I was. NEVER. But like I said time went by and I didn't want to waltz back into your life like nothing happened. All I can say right now is that I won't leave like that again. I won't but you have to trust me."

"I honestly don't want to trust you right now but I do. I really do." I told her. She grabbed the back of my shirt and pulled me down to her. Spencer wrapped her arms around me and held me tight. Held me like she was never going to left go, even if I wanted her too. Thats when I realized that no matter what we have went through in our lives, that those problems big or small, is nothing compared to the happiness and warmness she brought to me. That she will bring to me EVERYDAY.

**THE END **

I want to thank everyone for the reviews and for reading... THANK YOU SO MUCH... LATER PEOPLE! AND LOVE YA!


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